Menarche ceremony for women
First Period.
Menarche (first period) is often a quiet event in the UK and other Western countries. However, it's an important marker of the cycling years with the Menstrual Cycle bookended between Menarche and Menopause.
How a person's news about starting their period is received can be a defining moment.
Perhaps the mother or whoever heard the news first reacted with alarm, not wanting this to happen so soon. Or told all the family before the girl was ready and a feeling of betrayal was planted. Maybe it was a non-event with a book and pads available, but certainly no marking or celebration that this is an important milestone.
Having taken part in many menarche ceremonies, both as a participant and facilitator, I can tell you that most young people just want a hug and a few simple words of acknowledgement when they come with this news. Some may want a period party and a big red velvet cake.
This ceremony is all about reclaiming that important gateway to embracing the journey to becoming a WHOLE woman. Sometimes a mother decides to give herself this gift so she can give her daughter a different experience from hers. Sometimes a woman decides to do this as she heads into perimenopause to heal the beginning of the cycling years and part of the process of saying goodbye.
It can be done as a ceremony specific to you 121 or in a group, in person or online. All are powerful. Please contact me to register your interest and sign up to my newsletter in the footer to get updates on events that are happening.
Testimonial for a bespoke ceremony…
“I met Tessa through a work event about a year ago. I always liked her thoughtfulness and how she came across.
In February I had the chance to do a beautiful weekend on circle holding. It was on this weekend that the seed of an idea to a retrospective menarche ceremony was sewn. I am 51 and really struggled in my teenage years to gain any sense of self, with an older and old fashioned mum who struggled to connect with me. There was a lot of shame around sexuality and periods and it was all very hushed up.
As I am approaching menopause, I really wanted the opportunity to go back for my teenage self, reclaim her, tell her that there was never anything wrong with her, she was just growing up, there was nothing to be ashamed of, in fact there was something to be celebrated.
With Tessa, we started to play around with some ideas about what this retrospective rite of passage might look like. We passed ideas back and forth and together we co-created a really fun, joyful ceremony that included music, some affirmations written especially for the occasion that I wrote and Tessa read to me, so I could receive.
It was the total opposite response I had received to telling my mum my period had come when I was 14. This ritual helped me reclaim a part of me I felt was unseen and hiding and let her come out again and remember she was fun.
I am still getting my periods monthly, but when I come into menopause, I will once again, go back to Tessa, this time at the age I am at to celebrate this special book end of a cycle.
Thank you Tessa, your work is truly precious.”
Writing a letter to your younger self
This is a powerful way of reclaiming your menarche that you can do yourself or as part of a group. The following letter is the one that I wrote to my younger self as part of retrospective menarche ceremony, as published in Juno magazine.
